Sunday, November 29, 2015

Where is God?


As I sat in church this First Sunday in Advent, I was once again reminded of a story that I shared last Sunday with our RCIA group. It's a story that I first heard in a sermon at my small, rural Lutheran church growing up. With time, I realize that I might not have the exact story correct anymore but the message behind it will never change. There have been certain times over the years, not surprisingly just when I needed the reminder, that this message has popped into my head. Some of you may be familiar with this story as I've shared it before in talks and even previously on CaringBridge entries. As we begin Advent, I thought it was worth sharing again. The story goes like this........
Tucked into the peaceful countryside was a small, yet beautiful, country church. The history in the church was deep and the members were truly one family in Christ. Sadly, one Sunday morning as the parishioners began to arrive, they were in complete shock. You see, overnight someone had vandalized their small piece of heaven on earth.
One by one, as the parishioners gathered, they stood in complete silence surveying their now ruined church. Beautiful stain glassed windows had been smashed into tiny pieces, pews had been overturned and broken. Holes had been punched into the walls and banners and hymnals were scattered and torn. The altar had been knocked over and everything up front in the sanctuary had been viciously destroyed - seemingly beyond repair. Black spray paint covered most everything. And in the dome above the sanctuary, written very sloppily in large, red spray paint, were the unmistakable words - "GOD IS NOWHERE."
GOD.
IS.
NO.
WHERE.
I can only imagine the violation that these people must have felt. And yet, what if it was true? How often during our lives do we feel like 'God is nowhere?' It's certainly easy enough to feel this way when we are feeling alone or scared, when we don't get the job we're hoping for or get laid off from the one we have. GOD IS NOWHERE. It's easy to feel this way when finances are tight or people we know (even ourselves) is ill. GOD IS NOWHERE. It's a thought that can easily pop into our heads when we lose a loved one to addictions or death. GOD IS NOWHERE. It's easy to think sometimes as we look at all the cruelty and terror in our world. GOD IS NOWHERE. How many of us have experienced this thought, at least on some level, somewhere on our journey? GOD IS NOWHERE.
But the beauty of this story is that it didn't end there - and neither does ours.
No one spoke a word as this small church became more and more crowded that terrible Sunday morning. The people stood still, tears streaming down their faces, as they looked around at all the destruction. The only sounds that could be heard were the soft sobs of the people as they took it all in. And yet, out of the despair came a very small voice. The voice belonged to a little boy who was holding his father's hand. As everyone else was looking around at the devastation, this young boy was looking up very intently at the red spray painted words. As he looked up, he very slowly sounded out the words and very quietly read them out loud as he did - "GOD IS NOW HERE."
GOD.
IS.
NOW.
HERE.
Oh my, yes - yes, He is! For you see, even in our darkest times when we feel that He is 'nowhere', He is always 'now here'. To me that's what Advent and Christmas truly means.....that God is now here. He's in the anticipation. He's in the smiling eyes of the strangers that you might meet this Christmas season. He's in our children and in our parents. He's in everyone we have the opportunity to help. He's in everyone that helps us. He is the Alpha and the Omega and He is most definitely with us in our darkest 'nowhere' days.
May you all have a very beautiful and blessed Advent and Christmas season. May your holidays be filled with love, peace, hope and joy. And in among the busyness of this often times crazy world, may you find the gift of time to spend with family, friends and so many others that come to us as Jesus in disguise. My prayer for you is that you might see God in all those you interact with this Advent and Christmas season. And most importantly, may you always know that GOD IS NOW HERE!


Saturday, July 25, 2015

Haiti 2015

Wow - has it really been 4 months since my last post?  I cannot believe how quickly the spring and summer has gone this year.  I've been staying out of trouble and plenty busy but the highlight of my summer has definitely been a trip to Haiti with the St. Joe's Adult Mission Team July 4th - 11th.

Mission of Hope is the amazing organization that we volunteered through.  MOH's vision statement is this: As an organization following Jesus Christ, Mission of Hope exists to bring life transformation to every man, woman and child in Haiti.  At orientation on Sunday, it was pointed out to us that we were now in Haiti so they fully expected that this experience would be transformative for us as well.  WOW - they weren't kidding!  It was an amazing week and one that I would HIGHLY recommend everyone do at least once in there life.  You DO NOT need to be a member of St. Joe's to join the group.  Given the opportunity, I will definitely do it again at some point along my life's path.

During our trip, we updated our parish website with highlights from each day.  You may read about our amazing week at: http://stjosephcommunity.org/mission.aspx.  You may also check out our photo album at: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.963263800362997.1073741835.742220645800648&type=3.

The week away wasn't the only tranformational time of this journey.  Preparing for and reflecting back on the experience certainly gave me plenty of time to examine my own life. We were informed on our second to last night on Mission of Hope: Bercy/North Campus that now that we hopefully had been transformed by everything that we had witnessed and experienced in Haiti, it was up to us to bring this effort back into our own communities.  They spoke my heart.  As we discussed our day that evening among our St. Joe's group, I read for the group the last Facebook post that I had made prior to our departure for Haiti which echoed this exact sentiment......

Facebook Post - July 3, 2015
"By Saturday night, those of us on this year's St. Joe's Adult Mission Team will be settled into our home away from home for the week at Mission of Hope in Haiti.
As I was packing today, I had to decide if I wanted to take 'this' or 'that'. If I didn't have something, I knew I could easily pick it up at my local store before I went. I enjoyed lunch and supper with family and friends (both meals purchased at a local eatery and eaten on the deck in beautiful weather) and we were capable of getting fresh, drinkable water out of the tap.
It wasn't lost on me as I packed that my luggage probably contains more 'stuff' (remember, that I had to debate over) than the average Haitian probably even owns. I'll be honest, I wasn't able to finish packing without a few tears welling up. I kept coming back to the reality that the luxuries that I take for granted really are just that - luxuries - and I take them for granted way too often. Yet, am I any happier than the people that I will meet this week? I don't think so and I am so excited to meet these people because I know that they have so much to teach me about love and compassion! I haven't even gotten on the flight yet and I can already tell you that this trip has changed my life!
As we celebrate the 4th of July this weekend, I pray that we will all remember that we live in a land of great freedom and with that freedom comes many privileges and great responsibilities. With our freedom, we have been granted access to many amazing 'take it for granted' items. We have also been given endless - absolutely endless - opportunities to show respect, love and compassion to all within our homes, our communities and our world.
It's not about the 'stuff' any of us have or don't have. We can show respect always and in every situation. It's not about agreeing or disagreeing with the other person. We can love them unconditionally and always be like Christ towards them. It's not about caring for only those who share similar ethnic backgrounds or religious views. We can show compassion to all people without discrimination.
I am so excited and so humbled to be going to Haiti but don't think for a minute that traveling abroad is what makes a mission trip. The mission field is in our own homes and our own backyards. Love one another - the greatest mission in the world. It just really doesn't get any simpler than that. That's what I know the Haitian people are going to remind me of this week, smile after smile, and I can't wait!
May you all have a very blessed 4th. If you'd like to follow our journey, we hope to post regularly on the St. Joe's website at:http://stjosephcommunity.org/mission.aspx"

But what about after my return home?  How have I been carrying on the mission work that Jesus commissioned us to do over 2000 years ago?  I'm not so sure that it's always so obvious.  Even while in Haiti the effort could seem overwhelming at times.  After all, I'm just one person - how can I make a difference in my big, big world?  Well, yesterday was one of those amazing God moments that reminded me that our lights can shine even in the smallest everyday & ordinary activities.  We don't need to 'search' for ways to make a difference.  We simply need to go about our daily lives and God will present us with incredible opportunities to make a difference one after another.  This I also shared on Facebook......

Facebook Post - July 24, 2015
"Are you in need of a feel good story tonight? Allow me.......
This afternoon I went to my primary doctor for a check up. While there, I ran into one of Roch's former INR nurses. For those of you that have been through a lengthy and serious illness you know that your medical staff gets to be a lot like family. She gave me a huge hug and asked how things were going. We each talked a little about what's been going on since I last saw her about a year ago. As I shared, I told her I had just gotten back from Haiti and she was mesmerized. She was full of questions and wanted to hear all about what we'd done there, who I'd gone with, etc. As conversations often do, we transitioned quickly from topic to topic and eventually began talking about the importance of a faith community especially when a loved one is ill or passes away. Then at one point she simply stopped and said, "You look so good - you look younger and full of energy. What is it?" She caught me off guard - not so much that she said it but that I've been told this by more than a couple people since returning from Haiti. Part of me always wants to ask "Why - what did I look like before?!"
But the best I can muster most of the time is a simple "Thank you" or an "I'm not sure why that would be if you think so" in reply. I'll be honest, there's been a few times when I've wanted to say "Well, I don't feel young, I feel old - really old." You see, I've been in a funk. Our 30th wedding anniversary is coming up shortly and regardless of the fact that I've already celebrated alone twice doesn't seem to make this third time any easier. But I refrain from that reply and try to keep those comments to myself and a few poor unlucky souls!
Our conversation was interrupted when I was called back for my appointment by a new nurse that usually isn't with my primary doctor. As the nurse began taking my vitals she ran through the standard "Have you been depressed" questionnaire. I said "No - no - no" to her questions and somehow we got on a question where I replied that I wasn't depressed but as a widow, I certainly was in a funk lately but there's a difference. I told her that it's okay to be in these funks - for any of us - as we work through a grief of any kind - death, job loss, divorce, etc. It doesn't mean we're depressed, it means that we have sad moments that pop up every so often especially when thinking about a special event such as an impending anniversary and I think that it's truly okay to embrace those moments. In fact, I said, I think it's absolutely necessary to sit with them and acknowledge them a while before we can let them go. I truly believed that even these melancholy moments are all part of the process and that I have been truly blessed to have such a great faith and friends' community to always see me through.
She reiterated what a lot of people say - that I'm too young to be a widow. I reminded her that there are a lot of us out there - many younger than I am. I informed her about the widows fellowship that we started for the community at church and how nice it is to connect socially with others who share a similar bond.
The conversation transitioned and as we began talking about my malaria medication (that you also have to take for a few weeks after returning), she asked where I had traveled to and who I had gone with. Well, again my faith community came into the picture as I told her I'd traveled with my church's adult mission team and I shared with her a few of the more amazing moments in Haiti when she inquired.
This lady, who by this time I could tell was in a funk of her own said, "You're so lucky. You have that faith foundation and support. I've never had that." Talk about a God moment! I assured her that it was never too late to get involved with a faith community and I could almost guarantee that she'd be welcomed wherever she ended up with open arms because we were all children of the same God. By this point, we'd already taken up a little more time than we probably should have and she stepped out. A few seconds passed and she knocked, stepped back in and asked, "I'm just curious - where do you go to church?"
Wow! WOW!! I LOVE moments like these. We talked briefly about St. Joe's and how welcomed I knew she would feel there. But I also made sure that she understood that wherever she connected with a faith community, they would welcome her because that's what belonging to a faith community is all about - being accepted and being loved for who God made us and not who others think we should be or what our bank account is. She gave me the biggest smile that completely touched her eyes and walked out. This unknown nurse absolutely made my day!! Will she ever come to St. Joe's or connect with another faith community in the area? I certainly hope so. I will most likely never know though but that's okay. I'm just a small part of the picture and this afternoon God put me where He needed me the most.
It was then that it dawned on me that when people have said I look good or younger or more energized, I don't believe that they are really seeing me. It's my belief that they are seeing God work through me just like He worked through those beautiful people in Haiti that stole my heart. There is nothing here that's about me. That's what I saw in the Haiti people. That's what I hope this nurse finds in a faith community somewhere. And I hope that's what people have seen when they look at me - even through my funk. We are all sacred. We are all loved. We are all made in His image. And how amazing that we get to share in the wonder of that together in our own faith communities or even with complete strangers? God is good!"

God is indeed good!  We just need to be open to see all the small miracles that He allows to glow through us each and every day.  We all have that light from within.  To allow God to work through us doesn't require big changes in our lives or the lives of others.  It simply requires us to continue to shine one small act or word of kindness at a time.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ― Mother Teresa

     

Monday, March 30, 2015

Holy Week

I love Holy Week. I dread Holy Week. It's not easy moving ever closer to Good Friday. I like to think that I'm so often like Mary saying simply "Here I Am" when called upon. But the truth is that I'm called upon all the time - 24/7 - and as I reflect during Holy Week, I have to face the fact that too often I'm less like Mary and more like Peter.
How often do I deny Christ by my words? Words that hurt others. Words that talk about others in a negative light. Words that don't build others up. Words I should have said. Words that don't build His Kingdom up?
How often do I deny Christ by my actions? By not helping where I could. By helping too much when it's not needed but assuming that I know best. By not being accepting. By my indifference.
Holy week is my favorite season in the church year. But it's also my most difficult. But guess what? I've read the story and I know how it ends. Christ died for me! Well - He died for all of us but when you take time to really reflect this week, it definitely becomes a personal story....one with a happy ending in spite of - or maybe because of - all our sins. Glory indeed!
Take the time to really reflect this Holy Week. It might not be an easy road. But it'll be a road so worth traveling because it leads to a love story lived for us all!


Friday, February 6, 2015

Life As I See It........

Over four months since my last post - wow!  And some of you've never had the opportunity before to realize that I can actually be a gal of few words when the moments merit them!

I've been busy doing a lot of internal 'digesting' of where my life is two years after Roch's passing.  There's been a lot to digest in the last four months.  I'll start with my birthday where, for the first time, I surpassed Roch in age - he was 49 when he passed away and this year I turned 50.  Seems silly, but that was a tough one for me.  I returned to work in my new/old job as an in-home daycare provider in late October.  As a family we muddled through our second year of holidays without our husband and dad.  And just a few days ago, together as a family, we celebrated/honored/observed (I don't even know what's the right word to use here) the second anniversary of Roch's death.  And during all this time, I've been busy - really, really busy.

You see, during these last four months, along with all the other everyday stuff, I've been doing a lot of contemplating.....a lot of praying.....and, most importantly, a LOT of listening.  And what I've heard God whisper into the depths of my heart over and over again - and have even witnessed written in the words of others recently - hasn't surprised me for I have heard it many times before.  Repeatedly throughout my journey, when I've allowed Him in, He has said - 'My child - the story continues....come follow Me!  Rejoice!  Life is good!"

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I live in a bubble.  I mean, how can life be good when after two years I still miss my soul mate every single day?  How can life be good when there is so much cancer, disease and hunger out there?  How can life be good with so much chaos and turmoil in our world?  Shoot, sometimes there's so much chaos and turmoil just within our own families.  Seriously, I challenge anybody to tell me that their family doesn't live in rainbow of chaos from time to time and, honestly, I firmly believe that most of us don't just live there, we thrive there and wouldn't have it any other way.  We hold each other together, lift each other up and celebrate our individual, unique qualities. And isn't that what family is for?!  But I digress.  The world can certainly be a crazy, mixed up place a lot of the times and yet I'm (dare I say it?).....happy!  Because even in spite of all the things that have broken us and all the horrible things that we might hear, read or see on the news - there is so much more good that outweighs the bad!  I am so thankful that I am able to witness this every single day.  No - I don't live in a bubble - I'm simply living as a child of the great I Am.

I am so thankful that every weekday I am able to spend time with my daycare children and their amazing parents.  The face of Christ never comes through stronger than through the innocence, love, and trust of a young child.  I am incredibly thankful for family - immediate, extended and in-laws - that love me unconditionally and continue to carry me on and lift me up.  I am thankful for the man who walked 21 miles each way to work every day!  I don't even even know this gentleman and yet he's been an inspiration to me!  That's the way it works - you never know whose life you are going to touch by a simple gesture, a friendly smile, a kind deed, a thoughtful word.  I am also thankful for the good Samaritans that did the right thing and came to his assistance so his way will become easier.  I am thankful for friends who sometimes have to listen to my wild, random rantings and still manage to not disown me!  I'm thankful (and I'm guessing my friends are, too!) for the online Bible study that I'm currently doing through Proverbs 31 entitled "Keep It Shut" so that next time my friends won't have to listen to my wild, random rantings!  I think I'm coming along nicely!!  I'm thankful that I can laugh at myself and know that I'm still a work in progress - and always will be.  But I'm a wonderful work in progress handcrafted by the Great Potter who continues to shape each one of us every day - molding us and writing on our souls chapter by chapter.  I'm thankful that, regardless of what crazy things are going on in the world around me, I have the opportunity each and every day to see the face of Christ in everyone I meet and to share the light of Christ to everyone I encounter through my words, actions, and deeds.  The choice is mine.  These are the things that make me truly happy.  God is good all the time.  And all the time - God is good!!

Today Dr. Scott Hahn posted his reflections on the readings for this Sunday - the Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time.  His reflections speak to my soul as his words echoed those I know to be true within my heart - "Raised to Serve....Our lives must be our thanksgiving, as Paul describes in today’s Epistle. We must tell everyone the good news, the purpose for which Jesus has come - that others, too, may have a share in this salvation."

Which easily reminds me of more people that I'm thankful for......I am so incredibly thankful for my Cursillo family who are witnesses to Christ daily as they live out Scott Hahn's reflection in their ordinary, everyday lives.  I am thankful for my St. Joe's family who truly understands that the mission doesn't stop once we leave the church parking lot.  And I am very thankful that Fr. Paul Jarvis was brought by God to lead our flock at St. Joe's if even for a short time.  Fr Paul suffered an aortic dissection in April 2013 and is a walking miracle simply by being alive.  His recent request for reassignment comes out of his need to reduce stress in his life for health reasons.  Although I will be VERY sad to see him go, I can't help but be happy as I continue to see the hand of God at work through him.  Fr Paul 'gets it' and he has so many great gifts to share with all of God's people.  We've all seen that - parishioners from St. John Neumann, Our Lady of Grace, the Basilica of St. Mary, Guardian Angels and now St. Joe's.  We've always had our own light from within that was burning but Fr Paul came into our lives and certainly helped fan that flame with his energy and his faith.  Now it's our turn to share that light wherever we go.  By the grace of God,  it's time for Fr Paul to move on to another assignment, possibly another smaller parish.  I can't help but wonder if maybe that wasn't His plan all along - to allow Fr Paul to touch as many lives as possible.  No matter where Fr Paul goes and no matter where he starts another chapter of his life, he was 'raised to serve.'  Fr Paul will continue to empower those around him by showing them how to shine a light for Christ in all that they do.  The ripple effect will continue as the mission of Jesus Christ - the mission of Pope Francis - the mission of Roch Hannasch - and the mission of Fr. Paul Jarvis continues to spread.....love one another.  It really doesn't get any simpler than that!  Fr Paul gets less stress benefiting his health (aka keeping him around to share God's love for a long time!) and even more people get to hear his message and share in his gifts further advancing the Kingdom of God.  I don't know....somehow that seems like a win/win to me.  How can that not make you happy?

"Our lives MUST be our thanksgiving."  That is life as I see it.  
And I see SO MUCH each and every day to be thankful for!  
May you all journey forward with your own stories of gratitude 
and joy that will forever be written on your hearts.  


 "A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love." ~Mother Teresa