I've been busy doing a lot of internal 'digesting' of where my life is two years after Roch's passing. There's been a lot to digest in the last four months. I'll start with my birthday where, for the first time, I surpassed Roch in age - he was 49 when he passed away and this year I turned 50. Seems silly, but that was a tough one for me. I returned to work in my new/old job as an in-home daycare provider in late October. As a family we muddled through our second year of holidays without our husband and dad. And just a few days ago, together as a family, we celebrated/honored/observed (I don't even know what's the right word to use here) the second anniversary of Roch's death. And during all this time, I've been busy - really, really busy.
You see, during these last four months, along with all the other everyday stuff, I've been doing a lot of contemplating.....a lot of praying.....and, most importantly, a LOT of listening. And what I've heard God whisper into the depths of my heart over and over again - and have even witnessed written in the words of others recently - hasn't surprised me for I have heard it many times before. Repeatedly throughout my journey, when I've allowed Him in, He has said - 'My child - the story continues....come follow Me! Rejoice! Life is good!"Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I live in a bubble. I mean, how can life be good when after two years I still miss my soul mate every single day? How can life be good when there is so much cancer, disease and hunger out there? How can life be good with so much chaos and turmoil in our world? Shoot, sometimes there's so much chaos and turmoil just within our own families. Seriously, I challenge anybody to tell me that their family doesn't live in rainbow of chaos from time to time and, honestly, I firmly believe that most of us don't just live there, we thrive there and wouldn't have it any other way. We hold each other together, lift each other up and celebrate our individual, unique qualities. And isn't that what family is for?! But I digress. The world can certainly be a crazy, mixed up place a lot of the times and yet I'm (dare I say it?).....happy! Because even in spite of all the things that have broken us and all the horrible things that we might hear, read or see on the news - there is so much more good that outweighs the bad! I am so thankful that I am able to witness this every single day. No - I don't live in a bubble - I'm simply living as a child of the great I Am.
I am so thankful that every weekday I am able to spend time with my daycare children and their amazing parents. The face of Christ never comes through stronger than through the innocence, love, and trust of a young child. I am incredibly thankful for family - immediate, extended and in-laws - that love me unconditionally and continue to carry me on and lift me up. I am thankful for the man who walked 21 miles each way to work every day! I don't even even know this gentleman and yet he's been an inspiration to me! That's the way it works - you never know whose life you are going to touch by a simple gesture, a friendly smile, a kind deed, a thoughtful word. I am also thankful for the good Samaritans that did the right thing and came to his assistance so his way will become easier. I am thankful for friends who sometimes have to listen to my wild, random rantings and still manage to not disown me! I'm thankful (and I'm guessing my friends are, too!) for the online Bible study that I'm currently doing through Proverbs 31 entitled "Keep It Shut" so that next time my friends won't have to listen to my wild, random rantings! I think I'm coming along nicely!! I'm thankful that I can laugh at myself and know that I'm still a work in progress - and always will be. But I'm a wonderful work in progress handcrafted by the Great Potter who continues to shape each one of us every day - molding us and writing on our souls chapter by chapter. I'm thankful that, regardless of what crazy things are going on in the world around me, I have the opportunity each and every day to see the face of Christ in everyone I meet and to share the light of Christ to everyone I encounter through my words, actions, and deeds. The choice is mine. These are the things that make me truly happy. God is good all the time. And all the time - God is good!!Today Dr. Scott Hahn posted his reflections on the readings for this Sunday - the Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time. His reflections speak to my soul as his words echoed those I know to be true within my heart - "Raised to Serve....Our lives must be our thanksgiving, as Paul describes in today’s Epistle. We must tell everyone the good news, the purpose for which Jesus has come - that others, too, may have a share in this salvation."
Which easily reminds me of more people that I'm thankful for......I am so incredibly thankful for my Cursillo family who are witnesses to Christ daily as they live out Scott Hahn's reflection in their ordinary, everyday lives. I am thankful for my St. Joe's family who truly understands that the mission doesn't stop once we leave the church parking lot. And I am very thankful that Fr. Paul Jarvis was brought by God to lead our flock at St. Joe's if even for a short time. Fr Paul suffered an aortic dissection in April 2013 and is a walking miracle simply by being alive. His recent request for reassignment comes out of his need to reduce stress in his life for health reasons. Although I will be VERY sad to see him go, I can't help but be happy as I continue to see the hand of God at work through him. Fr Paul 'gets it' and he has so many great gifts to share with all of God's people. We've all seen that - parishioners from St. John Neumann, Our Lady of Grace, the Basilica of St. Mary, Guardian Angels and now St. Joe's. We've always had our own light from within that was burning but Fr Paul came into our lives and certainly helped fan that flame with his energy and his faith. Now it's our turn to share that light wherever we go. By the grace of God, it's time for Fr Paul to move on to another assignment, possibly another smaller parish. I can't help but wonder if maybe that wasn't His plan all along - to allow Fr Paul to touch as many lives as possible. No matter where Fr Paul goes and no matter where he starts another chapter of his life, he was 'raised to serve.' Fr Paul will continue to empower those around him by showing them how to shine a light for Christ in all that they do. The ripple effect will continue as the mission of Jesus Christ - the mission of Pope Francis - the mission of Roch Hannasch - and the mission of Fr. Paul Jarvis continues to spread.....love one another. It really doesn't get any simpler than that! Fr Paul gets less stress benefiting his health (aka keeping him around to share God's love for a long time!) and even more people get to hear his message and share in his gifts further advancing the Kingdom of God. I don't know....somehow that seems like a win/win to me. How can that not make you happy?
"Our lives MUST be our thanksgiving." That is life as I see it.
And I see SO MUCH each and every day to be thankful for!
May you all journey forward with your own stories of gratitude
and joy that will forever be written on your hearts.
"A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love." ~Mother Teresa
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